I remember what it felt like the moment they put you on my stomach. You were so gray-looking. I remember that the most. I knew I was supposed to immediately feel love but instead I just kind of stared at you in shock. I was a new mom. I had no idea what to do except stare as they toweled you off on my stomach. Instinctively, I wanted you closer. So I pulled myself forward just enough to grasp you and pull you into me. That was the first moment I truly held you in my arms. You stopped crying and just stared up at me and your daddy. Then I was able to soak you in a bit more. Your almond-shaped eyes, your squishy little face, your beautiful skin, your serious expression, and the way you just looked at us, even though you couldn’t see us, you knew who we were. I remember looking down at my stomach, still very swollen and huge and thinking “you aren’t in there anymore” and how distant that felt, how surreal. You wait for months and months for this moment and it was finally here and I felt like someone else was experiencing it. But I remember it clearly. I remember what it felt like when they took you away to clean you off and take your measurements, how empty my arms felt, how I craned my neck to watch you every second while the nurses had you. The weight of your dad’s hand on mine when they brought you back. I never wanted to let you go…but I did that night…so we could sleep 🙂 and I loved when the nurses brought you back in at 3 a.m. to eat again. I loved seeing you, I had missed you. Those first days were like nothing I had ever experienced before. You were my first child. My little boy. I had a son – and I was a mom.
Now here you are, our little man. You are two-years-old and you have brought us so much joy. We thank our Lord for you everyday. You are completely full of life and you remind us daily that we should be more like you. You are sensitive, caring, and sweet. You also are determined. You know exactly what you want when you want it, which can be trying for us as your parents, but we love you for it. We feel you will be a leader, you’re strong-minded and yet have a soft heart. You are incredible, Logan, and I hope you always know how much you mean to your Daddy & I. We love you so much.
Happy Birthday, little buddy.